So todays planned procedure didn’t really go to plan. I was going to emla the area so I could hopefully get rid of reflexes triggered by pain. Anyway I woke up late so was rushing around getting ready for work and forgot to take (or apply) the emla cream.
Oh well. I decided that I would just continue without.
So my plan was to tape a bead over one end of the implant so it made the opposite end stick up. This worked really well. Then I planned on using a no. 15 scalpel to slice across the lump that formed by the sticky up implant. Then I was going to switch to a no. 10 scalpel to slice through any encapsulation that wasn’t cut with the initial incision and hopefully the implant would slide out like a shit exiting an anus.
So that was the plan.
What actually happened was:
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Faffed around and got all the equipment ready, including my sterile field and ANTT opening my equipment (including a pair of spencer wells forceps - just in case it was being awkward)
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Prepped skin
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Taped bead
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Reprepped skin
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Used no. 15 scalpel to slice a slit
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Slit started bleeding
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Reached for gauze to soak up blood
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Felt very sick
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Vomited all over my sterile field (but luckily missed my hand, now with a 3mm cut)
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Fainted
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On the way down to the ground smacked the side of my head on the edge of the stainless steel trolley I was using as my work surface
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Remained unconscious for three and a half minutes
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Came round
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Saw all the blood on the floor from my head
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Vomited on the floor and all over my shirt
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Managed to grab gauze and applied pressure to head wound
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Once bleeding stopped (head - the hand had long since sorted itself and stopped on its own) I washed my hair, dried it as best I could and then attempted to stick steristrips on my head which didn’t work as my hair was still wet and getting wetter with the miniscule amounts of continued bleeding and the strips had no chance of sticking to my scalp - just my hair
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Shoved a sticky pad on as best I could and then put a cap on from the car (and a t-shirt to replace my wet and vomit covered shirt)
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Simple plaster for tiny wound on hand - not bleeding, just to cover
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Tidied up the room, disposing of clinical waste and sharps appropriately
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Went home
So not successful in any way, shape or form. For my next attempt, I might emla and ask my friend to do the cutting while I lie down and screw my eyes shut.