So todays planned procedure didn’t really go to plan. I was going to emla the area so I could hopefully get rid of reflexes triggered by pain. Anyway I woke up late so was rushing around getting ready for work and forgot to take (or apply) the emla cream.
Oh well. I decided that I would just continue without.
So my plan was to tape a bead over one end of the implant so it made the opposite end stick up. This worked really well. Then I planned on using a no. 15 scalpel to slice across the lump that formed by the sticky up implant. Then I was going to switch to a no. 10 scalpel to slice through any encapsulation that wasn’t cut with the initial incision and hopefully the implant would slide out like a shit exiting an anus.
So that was the plan.
What actually happened was:
Faffed around and got all the equipment ready, including my sterile field and ANTT opening my equipment (including a pair of spencer wells forceps - just in case it was being awkward)
Vomited all over my sterile field (but luckily missed my hand, now with a 3mm cut)
On the way down to the ground smacked the side of my head on the edge of the stainless steel trolley I was using as my work surface
Remained unconscious for three and a half minutes
Saw all the blood on the floor from my head
Vomited on the floor and all over my shirt
Managed to grab gauze and applied pressure to head wound
Once bleeding stopped (head - the hand had long since sorted itself and stopped on its own) I washed my hair, dried it as best I could and then attempted to stick steristrips on my head which didn’t work as my hair was still wet and getting wetter with the miniscule amounts of continued bleeding and the strips had no chance of sticking to my scalp - just my hair
Shoved a sticky pad on as best I could and then put a cap on from the car (and a t-shirt to replace my wet and vomit covered shirt)
Simple plaster for tiny wound on hand - not bleeding, just to cover
Tidied up the room, disposing of clinical waste and sharps appropriately
So not successful in any way, shape or form. For my next attempt, I might emla and ask my friend to do the cutting while I lie down and screw my eyes shut.
I think the scalpels were just the convenient tripwire to bring the morality hammer down on this guy. The real problem was what he was doing with the scalpels… i.e. removing body parts that even cosmetic surgeons would be hard pressed to justify… which is probably why they went to a body modder. That’s the thing that was pushing the social buttons and the reason the punishment was what it was.
Wow, I just reread the article and realised that they sent him down for three and a half years despite the fact that even the prosecuting lawyer himself said that in these exceptional circumstances his sentence could be suspended. They really wanted to make an example of him!
and James, you definitely need a kaishakunin for your next attempt! I feel for you - sounds awful.