I was a Google search away to check the spelling of parasitic capacitance 
I can imagine gigs where you put stickers on people to access areas or functions. That’s a jolly good idea. Similar to festival wristbands, but perhaps cooler.
I was thinking about actually inking the antenna under the skin for a sec.
Also, I take back the statement about phone UHF readers. Especially the “ever” part.
CAT comes out with advanced stuff, like thermo camera or laser. They might make a mini computer with built in reader that allows phone calls.