SO. I got it to work. I still wasn’t receiving any notifications whatsoever until I actually got through. Changed too many things at once to tell what the fix exactly was, but I uninstalled and reinstalled the app, closed and reopened my browser, used the “Login” option at VivoKey Members Only - The best humans around! instead of the QR code at https://members.vivokey.com/ and refreshed again like .2 seconds before scanning the QR code, and voila!
Thanks for the help everyone!