Okay so my EEOO padlock has arrived. Here’s my mini-review:
As Eriequiet has demonstrated, this is NOT a security product: it’s extremely flimsy and - something I didn’t expect - almost comically lightweight. It’s such a bad padlock I’m pretty sure Stephen Hawking armed with nothing more than a toothpick would have a decent crack at forcing it open - and he’s been dead for almost 4 years, that should tell you something.
However, the EEOO does have two things going for it:
- It works with the flexNT. Actually, it only works with NTAGs or Mifare Classic implants. It doesn’t work with my flexDF2 or my payment conversion, and it doesn’t work with my IAR M1k glassie - but that’s because it’s a glassie. Still, it works great with the flexNT. Check it out:
- It doesn’t claim to be a security product. In fact, it has shit padlock written all over it.
So one of 4 things can happen:
- You’re insane and you’re securing something valuable with this, and the thief is as insane as you and thinks you’ve secured something valuable, goes to the (small) trouble of breaking it open and hits the jackpot: well you’re stupid, so you don’t get no pity from me.
- You’re insane but the thief isn’t: they’ll leave your padlock alone, because hey, who would be dumb enough to secure something valuable with something that shitty eh? Bingo! You win
- You’re not insane and you only secure dirty underwear in a gym locker with that thing. But the thief is a fry short of a Happy Meal, breaks into your locker (somehow… in full view of the other gym patrons, but nevermind that), puts on your filthy undies and bolts. Well bad luck: you’ll have to go back home with a towel wrapped around your hips. But that’s pretty unlikely.
- You’re not insane and neither is the thief, and your undies are safe.
With that in mind, assuming you’re not insane, then suddenly the EEOO padlock does have a place in your arsenal of implantee-friendly devices: it’s very light and very small - meaning it won’t take up space in your backpack or even in your pocket - and the 4.5 mm shackle is thin enough to secure a key to something else directly, without an adapter like the one I made for my much larger Wilka padlock.
Incidentally, here it is next to the Wilka:
They just don’t bowl in the same league, is all
It’s a device to keep honest people honest. I think it works well enough for that if you use it to secure insignificant things in a crowded place. Me, I’ll use it in the low-risk places I need a padlock to lock things in. If nothing else, it’s yet another device to demonstrate how implants work to implant-curious people.
So… it’s a keeper