Haha, Mine aren’t any better.
You closest
@Gingerr may have some local info for you.
No problem, there is a lot to learn.
You do sound like you are leaning toward a self / assisted install.
Definitely keep in mind this
Also, this may be of use to you during your hunt for the mysterious and hard to find “Highland piercer”
Well Barbers 
used to be Surgeons…So maybe try them for your implant 
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