Wonāt go into a lot of details, but someone I looked up to, super strong and sure of himself⦠always putting his family and daughters first and the contagiously happy musclyist motherfucker Iāve ever known
Havenāt been in contact with him since Covid, he ditched social media because he caught some flak for seeking help when his families home was under water financially,
Came across something involving him decided to try to look him up and reconnect
Apparently he committed suicide, and set fire to the house, leaving his wife and 3 daughters homeless and without a father
ā¦.fuck⦠I have no words.
Like I wanna be sad, but Iām mad⦠but I also know itās so out of his character⦠idk⦠shits just bad
He was like a champion of suicide prevention
And I feel like shit for not finding out for 9 damn monthsā¦
even worse I feel like I always knew, Iāve struggled against the darkness enough to see it through the cracks in the mask
I knew that smile and laugh was too much, I thought it was more self actualizing than a maskā¦.
And championing suicide prevention, should have been a flag
Iāve had a few dreams that were quite disturbing honestly about my implants
Gonna hide the rest so those that want to read can as itās a bit graphic
Summary
So basically in the dream Iām showing someone my flexEM by pushing one side so the other lifts up, and then I do the same with my NExT but the wound (that does not exist) opens. And I try to brush it off and first and go to walk home but then both my hands fully deglove starting at the implant sites, and Iām like crawling to my front door bleeding out through my (now skinless) hands. And then I usually wake up
Thatās a lot to find out and probably comes with a lot of thought/emotions.
Brains are a tough egg to crack and often can go on the fritz.
Good time to reflect on what you have and what others around you now may be going through.
In general I hope you are okay as you go through processing this. Best,
Weird! I wonder if weird dreams are common after getting an implant.
I had the almost identical dream (Pushing on one end to show someone where chip is) and it slid out of the injection site and fell on the floor. I dreamed that after it fell on the floor I blew it off and tried to shove it right back in lol
I have had multiple dreams regarding my implants and it is weird how much they are just a part of my now haha
yeah man⦠this kind of stuff can be a shock⦠even if we think we should have known better, it sits in the same category of denial as our own mortality.
Itās always hard to truly understand someoneās situation⦠hell sometimes people donāt even let themselves think about it, let alone talk about it with anyone⦠but I do think that thereās a serious problem with people, typically men, who play the role of Atlas⦠the pillar of strength that everyone else relies on. They see it as their duty to bear all the unbearable burdens alone, even when help and understanding is offered. Itās often these people that suffer the most.
This speaks to the idea of āthe pillarā⦠not only is it rare for them to open up or admit even the slightest vulnerability, others often take offense at the prospect and go on to attack that person. Ape brains donāt like perceived leaders showing the realities of life⦠it pokes holes in their own attempts at ignoring their own mortality and the pain life can bring.
The best you can do now is to try using this x-ray vision to be aggressively kind to those you think might be struggling.
Itch.io has 572 games in a $10 bundle benefitting Ukraine, 228 of them have native Linux support (big deal for me). Thereās another ~400 titles included as well, mostly asset packs for making your own games, along with software and various types of art.
It doesnāt include steam keys, but for a lot of these a DRM-free version is nice (I can just download a ton of them to my 4TB drive and play them when I get around to it).
A ton of the bundle is filler, but it has some really great games that Iāve been meaning to pick up for a while.
My personal highlights:
Celeste (amazing retro platformer with a great storyline about anxiety and mental health, doesnāt overdo it)
Superhot (not the VR version, still a lot of fun)
Quadrilateral Cowboy (simple programming puzzle/heist game, with a great 80s cyberdeck-type aesthetic)
Baba Is You (one of the best puzzle games in the last decade, really really good, 2D logic puzzles)
I already had Super Hexagon, but thatās good as well, and it comes with Rusty Lake Hotel, and I tend to enjoy the Rusty Lake games. Excited to check that out.
Hope no one minds me posting this here, I know that Iād have been annoyed if I found out later that I missed it, thought Iād let others know.
Info on where the donations go:
From the forums:
"As of now, the charities chosen are:
International Medical Corps. Ukraine | International Medical Corps
They provide medical aid and training in the field, and have ongoing operations in Ukraine now. They have very low fundraising overhead (1% of income), with 89% of donations going to medical aid and 10% to administration. Honestly I donāt mind them paying their workers.
Voices of Children. Who we are - Voices of Children
This is a Ukrainian organization that helps children cope with the horrors of war, PTSD, readjusting to school, and things like that. As they are not an international organization I donāt have insight into their financials, but they have a really positive message, theyāve been in foreign news so may have had some vetting there, and I really wanted to help an org that is actually Ukrainian. If anyone has information I should know about them, please reach out."
EDIT: Annnnd itch.io is down. Hopefully itās back up soon.
But, by supporting the Ukraine
Iām pretty sure you just made āThe Listā
a list of foreign states and territories that commit unfriendly actions against Russia, its companies, and citizens.
*The list includes the Albania, Andorra, Australia, Great Britain, including Jersey, Anguilla, British Virgin Islands, Gibraltar, European Union member states, Iceland, Canada, Liechtenstein, Micronesia, Monaco, New Zealand, Norway, South Korea, San Marino, North Macedonia, Singapore, United States, Taiwan, Ukraine, Montenegro, Switzerland and Japan. @darthdomo and his game link
A Dance of Fire and Ice is great for those who like rhythm games.
Cook, Serve, Delicious! 2!! Also good
A Good Snowman is Hard to Build very chill puzzle game
I donāt own Skyrim VR (yet?), just the ānormalā version⦠and I just ask myself if the VR version is as moddable as the other one? Might be⦠strange, at least with some mods