How do you have the relay hooked up?
85 & 86 sound good. How are 30 & 87 setup?
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I think it’s something with my garage door because The test light is turning on and off like the relay is the switch when the tag is introduced. I just looked at my garage door controller again and the red wire is the signal wire the black is a ground.
30 12v
87 test light. When the signal wire is connected from door controller it does nothing.
Don’t laugh too hard at my (relay holder box) 
You should see half the junk I cobble together.
Try this. Unhook everything from the garage door. Then take a jumper wire and touch it to the red garage door wire, and the black garage door wire.
It should adtivate / open / close.
I worry that we may be miscommunicating on this. The two electrical systems should not be mixed. The controller has 12v and the garage door has it’s own SEPARATE 12v. The garage door should only be hooked to 30 and 87. The power for / from the controller should not be on either 30 or 87.
I will try the jumper while you read this… The 12V that powers the xEM controller is also on pin 30
Signal from xEM 86
Ground on 85 ( that’s also the ground for the xEM controller)
And test light (garage controller wire) on 87
I think this is your problem. Remove that wire. It should be the other wire from the garage door switch.
One garage controller wire is 87. The other is 30. It shouldn’t matter which is which.
I tried jumping the wires and all that happens is the down arrow blinks on the controller. … Also just tried removing the 12v and putting both garage door wires on the relay… He relays still clicks but the door does not work
Also, with both garage door wires on there I cannot get the test light to turn on when tag is scanned
Damn I wish I could see this in person.
The button should be just a switch. Electricaly speaking, there’s no difference between a switch and putting a jumper on it. The same thing is true about 30 /87. They just get connected. Same as jumping it. Or pushing the button.
This is normal. Try this, hook your test light between the two wires on the button. IF, they are 12v, then you should get a light. That light should go out when the button is pushed.
Don’t know if this will help. If you have Snapchat or Facebook I can do a video call 
. But That won’t be much hope for making this a troubleshoot guide for anyone wanting to do this lol.
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That actually helps alot.
Looking HERE you can see the back of the button on the third picture. It has a circuit board. The button assembly must have some type of internal circuitry. You may need to pull that circuit board out and look at where the switch actually is.
You have to be hooked into the actual switch. You may need to run a couple of wires to the front of that board where the actual switch is.
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Well you are very right about one thing… There is a circuit board there
Question is how do I figure this thing out? 
Pull it out. Look at the front. Need to find the switch.
I’m usually a pretty good car electrical but you are really going to need to help me on this one I’m horrible with computers but I know I will need to learn a lot with now being a cyborg lol.
About the only thing I know on this is there’s a button with four solder pins on it 
This has me so freaked out I normally would go buy a new one, but it sounds like a good learning experience
Ignore everything except the button. Chances are two of the solder pins are used, and the other two go nowhere.
Can you get a super close up of that button?
Do you have a multimeter?
Use a paper clip to jump one of the contacts on the left side of the button with the one directly to the right while it is hooked up to the white and red wires, being careful not to short anything else out.
The button is a standard tactile switch - the door should open on close when you do this.
EDIT: ODaily below is right, It’s the top pair labelled SW2
Yep