The anti🚫-derailment🚃 & thread🧵 hijacking🔫 thread🧵 ⁉

[Pilgrimsmaster]

@pac

those who would want to display pronouns next to their name… @Pilgrimsmaster

I have had a look in the settings, but limited results on my phone, I’ll check again when I am at a PC.

[Zwack]

Those “title” settings are the user types (basic, regular,…) So it might not be a good idea to add other options in there.

[Pilgrimsmaster]

@Zwack

Those “title” settings are the user types (basic, regular,…) So it might not be a good idea to add other options in there.

Yeah correct, they are called Trust levels, which would cause issues, but the can’t be changed or edited anyway, they are an un-editable discourse setting

[Coma]

@Zwack

Mr Zwack. Mrs Zwack is my wife

Yeah, I know Was just kidding a bit - from several users here, I know the gender, and so I’ll always address you as he / him
But funny enough, I grew up with computers being a “thing for guys only”, so I assumed for a pretty long time that most people I meet in games or forums are male - even though I was already an exception to this. To be honest, some of the gender-related discussion we had here made me more aware of this topic - thanks to y’all for that! Even if I didn’t always agree with everything (and probably never will), and even though the tone was heated up sometimes

[pac]

oh well, was worth a shot

[Zwack]

But remember…

[Coma]

…or a unicorn!

[Satur9]

@Zwack

He, unless it was done maliciously. I generally try and refer to people by their name to avoid confusion. If I know they prefer certain pronouns I will use those. If I don’t know then I will not be at all upset if I make a mistake and am corrected. I would also hope that my making a mistake would be both corrected and not cause offence.

I mean, you can do whatever you want. There won’t be any repercussions. I’m just saying from a damage control perspective if you’re trying to be empathetic towards people who have struggled and are sensitive to being misidentified, it’s wiser to default to they. He/hims who get misidentified as they can just deal with it, fewer of them are going to be hurt. They/thems who get misidentified as he/him can be hurt by it based on their history. Same goes for She/her. If you’re putting in that work to be feminine and you get misidentified as he/him even online, it can hurt. Being misidentified as they/them is just like “whatever they were being safe”.

It all comes down to your priorities when talking with others, and I prioritize their existential comfort over the minor inconvenience imposed on me for being aware. At a certain point your resistance to the behavioral changes that make others comfortable becomes malicious, because you have the knowledge but it comes across as belligerent denial.

[Zwack]

@Satur9

At a certain point your resistance to the behavioral changes

At my age old habits can be hard to break. I do my best, but while language might change over time, my use of it is a bit more ingrained.

[Coma]

@Satur9

It all comes down to your priorities when talking with others, and I prioritize their existential comfort over the minor inconvenience imposed on me for being aware.

That’s kinda what I mean - I do not care about anyone’s gender (except my own^^). I don’t care if someone identifies as male, female or anything in between or outside of that spectrum. So it is easiest for me to choose a pronoun that kinda “covers it all”, unless I know better. And that’s what I like about the “they / them”, it’s some sort of “whatever you feel like”. That’s a nice workaround, and I miss that in my native language
In German, every noun is male, neutral or female, and that leads to big troubles when gendering takes place - in English, an author, for example, is an author, no matter if male or female. In German, we have the male “Autor” and the female “Autorin”, and so, when talking about the plural of people who write books, we now write “Autor* innen” or “AutorInnen” or “Autor_innen” or anything like that, and while I totally get the point, many people complain that it makes reading texts a bit inconvenient. When talking, we say “Autor*Innen” with a noteable pause between the “r” and the following “I” - and while I’m getting used to it, it would be a lot easier if German wasn’t such a complex language…

[Zwack]

@Coma

I do not care about anyone’s gender (except my own^^). I don’t care if someone identifies as male, female or anything in between or outside of that spectrum

This! Very much this! Which is why if I do mislabel someone it is purely accidental and not because I am trying to cause you pain.

[Satur9]

@Zwack

Which is why if I do mislabel someone it is purely accidental and not because I am trying to cause you pain

Yeah totally, I get it. I’m just saying you don’t have to try to cause pain, and if you do it accidentally for long enough then it’s intentional. Why not get ahead of it.

[rvenfrost]

I use this one. It’s the closest I’ve found.

[Pilgrimsmaster]

@Zwack

At my age old habits can be hard to break

That is going to buffer, a lot unfortunately

but you can download or search online if you want…

[Backpackingvet]

I have no source on what I am providing.

There was an article recently at my work about osteointegration prosthetic limbs, and I posed a question. I only removed a reference to one name.

Excerpt of your comment
How does the implant not get infected where it goes through the skin?

Their reply
Great question! This technology as mentioned above was first used in dental implants where you implant the part in the bone, close the gum, wait for the bone to grow into the implant, then open the gum and place the abutment and crown. These rarely get infected.

Similar concept here - place the osteointegration implant and close the skin, allow the bone to ingrow into the implant for 3-6 months, then place the abutment (part that goes thru the skin). The prosthetic is then attached to the abutment. By doing this in a 2 stage fashion the bone has ingrown into the implant which seals the canal/bone and protects it from any infection. It is also very important on how the plastic surgery team (Dr. Xxxxx here) reconstructs the soft tissues to the abutment to seal the region. Patients do intermittently get some cellulitis episodes that respond well to oral antibiotic courses. We all share this concern when we first read about this technology and it is amazing how well patients do and do not require further surgeries and extraordinarily rarely get deep infections.

Edit to add:

Fingernails do this too. Was considering the potential to run wires through the nail bed.

[Zwack]

You know you are getting old when you realise that you could legally have great grandchildren.

Having said that I try not to use racist/sexist/… language

[amal]

@Zwack

Having said that I try not to use racist/sexist/… language

What about racey/sexy language?

[Zwack]

@amal

What about racey/sexy language?

Only with my wife… I know, I’m boring.

[amal]

[anon3825968]

@Pilgrimsmaster

That is going to buffer, a lot unfortunately

He’s used to it. His first experience of internet video probably was RealPlayer. If you want to relive that, BackBlaze is fantastic I must say…